We're All The Same On Paper

I had found myself on the floor of my bathroom, flooding in used tissues, soaking in tears.  Empty ice cream pints crumpled up and melting. Clothes and jewelry scattered everywhere. And my shirt sleeve, coated in tears and snot. I was not in a good place, lonely, depressed, and angry.  I had tried everything, like eating my feelings and watching “Friends”, hoping that Joey Tribbiani would cheer me up, but no.  Not the Phish Food Ben and Jerry’s, not the enthusiasm and stupidity of Phoebe Buffet, nothing. Thoughts wouldn't stop rushing into my head, and tears would not stop flowing. I left my bathroom and came to my bed, cuddled in it, and saw my computer.  A new thought came into my head.  I opened up my computer and let it all out.  Over two pages of pure anger, sadness, venting, and tears, all let out on one solo word document, after ten minutes of non-stop writing. When I was done, I had realized the tears had dried, my frown was gone, and that my shaking had lessened.  Did I read it over? No. Did I spell check it? No.  Did I just leave it alone and then shut my computer? Yes, yes I did, and I am beyond glad that I did.  That was the moment when I realized a love for writing and when I realized the power of words.   

I don't believe in much, but one thing I strongly do believe in, and only realized recently, is that writing can change someone's life.  Whether you’re the girl with an abusive family, the boy who takes care of his siblings and works night shifts, or even the over-privileged snob that breathes gold and speaks only words of money, the pen and the paper have the potential to be your best friends, and to be your only true connection to everyone else around you.  When you’re writing, everything around you is suddenly gone, suddenly unimportant, and suddenly you're in a world of your own.  You can't hear the couple in the back of you screaming at one another, or the couple in front of your going at it.  You can't hear your brother playing fortnite with his friends, and screaming because he came in 4th.  All you can hear are the thoughts in your head,  and the words swirling round and round, which takes your mind to a different place, instead of  the bad state that you were in before. 

I've always known that words can hurt. I've had first-hand experience with that, but what I didn't know is that words also have the power to heal,change, and connect the world.  When you write, and someone reads your words, they aren't judging you, and how you may look, but they are reading your story, and pretty often, the stories that are told can relate to almost everyone in one way or another.  Recently, I had realized that I was not alone; my friends said that writing gave them a sense of safety from getting judged, hurt, or exposed. In my life, and all my experiences, I have learned that anyone’s words have power, even the power strong enough to unify us all, and that's something I believe.