Skip to main content

The Myth of Ageing

 Growing up, I believed that, well... "growing up" was a myth. I believed that everyone just 

stayed put in their period of life. My mom would stay by my side, no matter what 

challenges she faced, she would smack them down and still protect her little girl; my

 brothers would stay annoying teenage boys blasting music and playing video 

games till 2am; I would stay my dad's "little princess" and I would stay having little, to

 no, responsibility, but lord! Was I wrong. The truth is, nothing stays the same. It feels

 more than weird to think about leaving high school and think about living on my own, think

 about the career I will want to do for the rest of my life. It's not scary, I'm not afraid of what's

 to come, no, that's not it. It just feels bizarre, you know, strange to think that the unknown 

will soon become... known? When I came into high school, I thought that as soon as I 

stepped foot in the quad, I'd feel like a grown woman working and thriving in the business 

world with her little pooch in one hand and a latte in the other, but no. I still felt like a little 

jewish eighth grade girl, and guess what? I still do. Not only have I remained the same 

height since the fourth grade, but I also just feel like high school is my life, in a weird way. In

 reality, soon I'm going to be a 9 year old girl that is forced to pay taxes, live on her own, 

create a life for herself, and eventually make my own family. I'm going to be a 9 year old girl

 that is forced to live the life of a 27 year old woman and soon a 65 year old woman going 

through heat flashes. I know I am only 17 but damn, I feel so much older. This once newly 

"American-French girl" is now about to turn 18 though still feeling like that little girl. Soon, 

my parents won't be able to care for me. Rather, I'll be taking care of them. I'll be the one

 smacking down and beating up any barriers that get in the way of my family. My brothers 

will soon be giving me nephews and nieces that I will protect, and I will soon have a nine 

year old daughter to call my own. It's weird to know I've only lived a small fraction of my life,

 yet it feels like I've lived most of it. Im happy I was wrong about the concept of aging, hell,

the idea of having so much of my life ahead of me thrills me more than I can write in words.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The History of Song

Music has always been an escape, even from the beginning of time. Pilgrims, merchants, colonizers, and slaves; flappers, soldiers, boomers, and millennials; parents and children; rich and poor; black, brown and white. People of all decades and centuries can connect with the power of music. It hasn’t always been a musical world full of Kanye Wests and Ariana Grandes, but there has always been a song. There has always been a story waiting to be told. Not just written on paper or blurted out of one's mouth, but a story told with a beat. With the clapping of hands and the stomping of feet, we can hear and feel the pain, the sorrow, the love and happiness, the war and the peace. Music has evolved just as much as our nation. The diversity of music over the years mirrors the diversity of our people and the cultures that are living in this melting pot. The story of America can easily be explained through the evolution of song. Music is, and always has been, a reflection of the time in whic...
Post a Comment
Read more

We're All The Same On Paper

I had found myself on the floor of my bathroom, flooding in used tissues, soaking in tears.  Empty ice cream pints crumpled up and melting. Clothes and jewelry scattered everywhere. And my shirt sleeve, coated in tears and snot. I was not in a good place, lonely, depressed, and angry.  I had tried everything, like eating my feelings and watching “Friends”, hoping that Joey Tribbiani would cheer me up, but no.  Not the Phish Food Ben and Jerry’s, not the enthusiasm and stupidity of Phoebe Buffet, nothing. Thoughts wouldn't stop rushing into my head, and tears would not stop flowing. I left my bathroom and came to my bed, cuddled in it, and saw my computer.  A new thought came into my head.  I opened up my computer and let it all out.  Over two pages of pure anger, sadness, venting, and tears, all let out on one solo word document, after ten minutes of non-stop writing. When I was done, I had realized the tears had dried, my frown was gone, and that my shakin...
Post a Comment
Read more

TJ Anderson v. A Monster

            As the jury read the verdict, you could feel the divide. Half the room with their jaws dropped,  sighing whimpers of relief while happy tears fog their vision. The other half… either getting up and  walking out pissed off or staying in their seats trying their hardest to repress their anger, bottling up their  fists as you can see the veins bulging from their neck and forehead. What was the verdict? First, we're  gonna need the backstory. All the info from the trial of TJ Anderson v. A Monster. May 13th, 1984. Started out like any other day - wake up, play my vinyl while brushing my teeth, get my coffee from the lil corner shop around the block then hop on the subway. Earphones plugged in, coffee in hand, suit all ironed. As the smell of rat piss and body odor fuck up my senses, I take a deep breath in… ahhh New York.  “Next stop, Wall Street/William Street.” The monotone voice that takes over the bus says as I let ...
Post a Comment
Read more